Could not ask for more.

Well, it's been about 3 weeks again... I wish I could say I won't make excuses, but I'm about to. I have been so caught up in moving forward that I didn't write about it. But tonight, I just need to get it out somewhere. I started a new poem that will probably never be seen after reading some truly amazing work by a friend. But here is my revelation for today: I feel like I have been given a gift, a second chance. As I stayed in my sweats today with a t-shirt stained by hair dye (it looks a little like blood I'll admit) and my hair all a mess, I realized it just didn't matter. I didn't want to fix a real dinner so I had Cheez-its. Not healthy, but it was just me and I didn't have to worry about it. I have people who love me so unbelievably much no matter what. I have found unconditional acceptance and love, which granted I had all along, but I just didn't see all the blessings I've been surrounded with. I still have my moments but I just feel light hearted I guess is the word? I found an apartment and will be moving into it next weekend so I'm busy packing. My house is in complete disarray. My mind is all over the place with school and work and sorting out the details of moving. But I just have peace. The quiet of my house is something I treasure and I cannot wait to move into my very own place all by myself. Of course, I'll have help and I must thank my awesome Grandmama for co-signing, but I am doing this for myself. I have people who are proud of me and who tell me daily that they love me. I think going home for Thanksgiving was a wake-up call. I was much more relaxed and at ease than I've been in so long. It just felt right. Life gets so complicated sometimes and I just forgot to take a second to breathe and see all the wonderful gifts I've been given. There is so much beauty and joy in my life and it's been here all along but I have been so caught up in negativity that I couldn't let myself take it in. What a big mess this all is and I'm sure no one will want to read it but all I really want to say is that I am blessed and I am finally realizing the magnitude of the opportunities and wonderful gifts I have been given.

I hope that everyone has a super, fantastic, great day.
Mandiy